Ready, Set...Go?
Last week I was glued to the tube, watching the World Championships in Paris. There are few things I like better than watching track and field on T.V. Well, maybe that’s not true, but it’s probably in my top 75 favorite things. It was the week before I started back at university; I had the intention of reading lots of books, hoping to raise my intelligence by a few points before I would have to present myself at an educational institution. It was like my “Learn Everything in 10 days program” — a hard sell. I pretended to believe in it, but doubted my commitment. I carried around a lot of thick books that I taken out for the library, as if I could absorb them through my bag. Got a backache. Learned a math trick, but unfortunately tried it at the pub, where no one could do math.
I have read 1/2 of about four books now (out of about 25 signed out), and there is little chance I will finish them before starting something else. As a conciliatory measure during my “study period”, I allowed myself mid-afternoon naps and visits to the local slummy bar, but it was like letting myself have cheesecake before a 5 K run, and then…not running. Know what I mean? Relax first, then…ah, forget it.
I’m 31 now (where did the time go?) and am surprised by how intimidated I feel in returning to university. I feel like a walking spool of stress, ready to unravel at the first assignment. Write a summary? Do a presentation? WAAAAH! (Drop my milk bottle.) Ridiculous, isn’t it? If I were a character in my own novel, I would laugh at myself. BUT I CAN’T VERY WELL DO THAT, CAN I? SINCE I’M TRAPPED IN THIS GREAT PERSONAL TRAGEDY OF PROCRASTINATION AND SELF-DOUBT! How horrible! I had hoped to be a genius, but now I just feel like a lazy loafer.
Bah, I hope I will soon tire of my own drama. That reminds me of the time (a few weeks ago), when I tried to teach one of my ESL students the meaning of “shit or get off the pot”. I’d be curious to know if this expression exists in other languages.
OK, I’m going to go do some hamstring stretches now.
CHORUS: Turkey kulbassa is quite tasty; my cat likes it, too.
Posted on September 07, 2003 10:58 AM